Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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