Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
