In the future we'll all be gay
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
