does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
As shirtless as possible
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
