the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
