well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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