He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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