what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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