New low: just hacked my moms facebook
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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