i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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