Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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