Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
