he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Randomize
