just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
