im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We have started to decorate penises.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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