it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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