so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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