You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
