Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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