; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
