Me too!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
