Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
