My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
