How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
