i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
As shirtless as possible
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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