wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
