Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
