girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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