is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
