so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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