I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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