you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
