is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
handjob tips. give me some.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
