Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
