normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
