Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
