just come out here and I will go home with you...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
