i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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