can we get nightvision for the apartment?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
