I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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