Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
