I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
