glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
