Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
