just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
