Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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