An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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