the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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