Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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