Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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