i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
